Project Star Gate --- Chapter XI --- ' Ascension ' by Mark van der Laan
David Rolans, Commander of the starbase known as Maelstrom grabbed hold of a console, dragging himself up into a standing position again. His face was bleeding from a cut just over his left eye, but it hardly seemed to bother him. "Status report!" he demanded.
Anya Maras, the Bajoran woman occupying the science station did not reply. Her console had been as rude as to explode while she was operating it, burning her face and knocking her out cold. It was the bald Captain Black who first reached her console to check on the situation. "The Central Core went offline during our Jump, and as a result it wasn't completed; the resulting feedback shorted out most of our main systems, although backups are kicking in. Minor casualties have been reported so far, no fatalities...yet."
David reply with a nod of the head only; few injuries, that was a good sign, given the pounding the station had gotten. Then he realized something else suddenly. "Our Jump wasn't completed? Then where are we now...?"
"Unable to confirm, as these readings are off the scale," Black replied, "Although if I had to guess, it is some sort of interphase pocket dimension that the Maelstrom uses to leap from one point to another." The Commander gave that information some time to sink, but didn't get much of a chance for it as the Ferengi doctor Ragg started touching him with his tiny hands. "Don't move," the Ferengi hissed, "Let me see that cut of yours to see if I can patch it up?"
"Never mind me," David groaned, covering his cut, "Look after Maras first, she's in bad shape."
"Perhaps," Jagh suggested as he crawled back in his chair as well, "It might be wise to find the cause of this disaster before those responsible for it do even more damage."
"That will not be necessary!" somebody roared suddenly.
The booming voice was followed by a curious silence, when the owner of the sudden voice -Argol Manck- strode into the command room with his phaser drawn, keeping a lock on the Romulan spy and an unknown alien who looked remarkably humanoid. "These are the culprits. I suggest we toss them out the airlock right away."
"Demons! Vile servants of evil! Republicans!" was all the alien had to say for himself.
The tall Cardassian hissed, attempting to silence the angry wizard. When that didn't help, he shot him. "Thank you," the Romulan replied, "He was getting on my nerves."
"You've caused us quite a bit of trouble, much more than we can afford," David replied to that, stepping towards the spy with firm paces, "Give me one good reason why he shouldn't vaporize you next!"
"It was only a stun setting, you know..." Argol defended, but nobody
listened.
"I personally don't understand your frustration, Commander," Rehu retorted, "Most would be honoured to have their duty station sabotaged by one of Romulus' best, Tal Rehu."
"Tal Rehu? Never heard of you," Captain Black replied truthfully.
"See? That's how good I am."
At this point, the Cardassian also shot Tal Rehu.
"I suppose the interrogation will have to wait," David concluded and returned to the other matter at hand - the fact that they had become lost in some sort of interdimensional limbo. "All right -does anyone have any suggestions on our current situation?"
"Commander!" Jagh shouted out suddenly. His eyes seemed fixated on the small sensor display in front of him, as if he couldn't believe his own eyes. "Commander!" he repeated at the lack of response, "Come and see this!" "What is it?" David asked as he rushed over to his second in command, but the Trill didn't need to reply, because he could already see what was going on with his own eyes: a massive collection of high powered energy was headed their way and would collide with the station in less than two minutes. "Red alert!"
Unfortunately, the Red Alert was one of the systems that had broken down which lead to a silence that was ended only by a cheering of the entire base's crew, who were relieved that they wouldn't get their ears tortured by the infernal noise of the red alert; a cheering that quickly turned into cries of despair as the energywave hurled towards the station, impacting on it and enveloping it completely. And then there was a complete and total silence.
And then a booming voice spoke: "Choose and perish!"
"What?" every conscious and non-critically-wounded person in the command room replied simultaniously.
"Choose the form of your destructor!"
"Ah, I get it!" Captain Black shouted suddenly, slamming his fist in his open hand to enforce his statement, "Whatever we'll think of will be coming to destroy us! So if we think of Guido Dorssers, the GM will come and ban us from life itself. It sounds like the plot of a silly 20th century movie. Clear your minds, it's our only..."
"The choice is made!" the voice interrupted.
"WHAT?!"
"Short Range Sensors have detected a large object just outside the Maelstrom," Black reported, "It's... An enormous Cardassian woman in bikini."
Every head in the command room turned towards Argol. "I couldn't help it!" the Cardassian said defensively.
"I couldn't help it, he says!" Ragg groaned loudly while he was using a dermal regenerator on Anya's burnt skin, "And because of your raging hormones, we're going to be destroyed by a female in bikini!"
"Technically, when she came to mind, she was naked," Argol corrected, "But nudity is forbidden on Star Trek."
They didn't get a chance to comment on his rectification, because at
that same point the station shuddered violently as the giant Cardassian started punching at it, each blow doing significant damage. "Mr Jackson, raise shields!"
=/= What shields?! =/= came the reply from engineering.
The Maelstrom shuddered violently when a gigantic Cardassian fist impacted on the side, bending metal plates in all directions. It was obvious that it wouldn't take long for the swimsuited gargantuan to tear the station to pieces. With most of the systems still down, the base had no way to defend itself against the skimpy glad being, and all seemed lost.
"We have only one alternative!" Commander Rolans shouted at Jagh.
"Crossing the streams?!"
"What?!"
And then everything was enveloped in a bright, white light. And in that white light there suddenly was the command staff of the Maelstrom. And Tal Rehu and the unconscious wizard Gary Samdar. Why? Because they are the main characters, which was good enough for any interdimensional being. And international beings was exactly what the crew was dealing here.
"Where are we?" Captain Black finally asked.
"This is the beginning and the end, nowhere and everywhere," a voice with no particular owner boomed out of nowhere, "We have been monitoring your corporal existence and have found great wisdom in one of you; therefor we have decided he should be elevated from this level of existence and ascend into an elevated consciousness."
"I have some sprays and potions that can do that, perhaps you would like..."- Ragg started, but was quickly silenced by a deadly glare from every non-ascended person present.
"We will free your station from the state in which it was captured, for it was not meant to be there," the unseen voice continued, "At the same time -although time is but a relative concept- we will allow the Chosen One to ascend into our embrace."
"Chosen One..." Gary mumbled as he regained consciousness, "Prophecy..?"
"Not so fast!" David shouted, "How do we know what you're not trying to trick us? For all we know you could be in league with that giant naked lady! I would at least like to see the beings we're dealing with!"
And then suddenly an apple, a banana and a pear simply appeared out of nowhere, levitating in mid-air (or mid-whiteness) as if they'd always been there. "W-what's this?" Ragg muttered, his heart skipping a beat as the tree pieces of fruit had appeared just behind him.
"Your underdeveloped intellect could not possibly comprehend what we truly are," the apple spoke, "So we have chosen this form; it is the best way for your minds to interpret our beings."
"An apple, a banana and a pear..." Gary muttered, still half dazed, "Of course, it all makes sense now... this answers everything - this is even more comprehensive than '42'."
"I see you have learnt the secrets of the universe that is 42," the pear commented.
"Yes, yes, we're very enlightened, now can you please get on with it
- who's being ascended?" David grumbled, obviously getting annoyed with the omnipotent pieces of fruit.
"He is the Chosen One," the apple said, hovering a few inches closer to Argol Manck. The Cardassian's only response was a smug smile directed at his companions.
"You must be joking," Tal Rehu commented, visibly disgusted, "He's a Cardassian, and a bad one too. Surely he..."
"We make no mistake," replied the banana, "Now touch me, Cardassian Argol Manck, and become one with us."
Of course Argol Manck wasn't the person to refuse such a request and faster than you could say 'Fleet Admiral Jacon Dal' he had his hand on the all-powerful banana. Bright light engulfed him and only moments later the Cardassian was no more, and in his place there hovered a crop of lettuce. "Yes... At last it all makes sense," the lettuce said, "All is revealed now... I know true peace... Hmm, I wonder if I have the power to make a star go supernova..." -and then the lettuce disappeared.
"so it was done," said the apple, "We will now transport you back to your own dimension..."
"Wait!" David interrupted, "Could you please do us a favour? We were stranded due to an accident far away from home. Perhaps you could use your power to send us home so we will not be forced to wander..."
"Such a feat lies not within our unlimited power..." started the apple.
"There's a paradox," Ragg mumbled.
"..for it would upset the greater scheme of things and end your tale
prematurely. Instead, we will drop you off not too far from where you last were before leaving your dimension. For no reason apparent."
"Then grant us this," David continued, gesturing at the wizard Gary, "This man is not one of us, accidentally taken from his world when he entered our starbase. Can you at least send him home, for he is not meant to be here?"
"That we can do," agreed the pear, "And so it will be done."
And then the whiteness that surrounded them engulfed everything and they could all feel their consciousness fading.
When David Rolans regained consciousness, they were back in normal space, with no signs of inhabited planets nearby, nor was there any sign of the enormous Cardassian lady. "I suppose those strange aliens kept their word," David concluded while others started waking up as well; one of them was Gary Samdar, the mage. "Oh well... I guess not even omnipotent characters are perfect..."
